The #1 Mistake Managers Make When Giving Feedback

One of the most common challenges I hear from leaders and managers—across industries, across levels, across the world—is how to give feedback effectively. It’s a skill that feels deceptively simple, yet when it comes time to have the conversation, so many managers hesitate, struggle to find the right words, or avoid it altogether.

I see this every day in my coaching, consulting, and training work. Leaders want their teams to succeed, but when feedback isn’t delivered well (or at all), it leads to frustration, disengagement, and missed opportunities for growth.

The good news? Feedback is a skill that can be learned. And the biggest mistake most managers make is easier to fix than you might think.

What’s Holding Your Team Back?

Managers often assume that holding back feedback is the kinder option. They don’t want to upset their employees, create awkward conversations, or damage morale. But avoiding feedback does more harm than good.

• 72% of employees say critical feedback is essential for their growth, but only 5% say they actually receive it (Harvard Business Review).

• Employees who strongly agree that they received “meaningful feedback” in the past week are four times more likely to be engaged at work (Gallup).

• 79% of employees who quit their jobs cite “lack of appreciation” as a key reason for leaving (O.C. Tanner Global Culture Report).

When managers hold back, employees don’t get the guidance they need to improve. They may assume they’re doing fine, only to be blindsided later when mistakes pile up. Or worse, they may feel undervalued and invisible, leading to disengagement.

The cost of feedback avoidance? Missed opportunities for growth, declining performance, and higher turnover.

The 5 Most Common Feedback Mistakes (And How to Fix Them)

Even when managers do give feedback, they often make avoidable mistakes that reduce its impact. Here are the top five pitfalls to watch for—along with simple fixes to make feedback more effective.

1. Waiting Too Long to Give Feedback

Feedback loses its power when it’s delayed. If an employee made a mistake two months ago and is just now hearing about it, they may not even remember the details.

• The mistake: Saving feedback for performance reviews or waiting until an issue gets too big to ignore.

• The fix: Give feedback in real time—or as soon as possible. When you see something that needs coaching, address it immediately. This helps employees course-correct before small issues become bigger problems.

Instead of: "We’ll talk about your performance in your next review."

Try: "I noticed something in today’s meeting—let’s chat for a minute about how we can adjust next time."

2. Being Too Vague

General feedback like “Great job” or “You need to improve” doesn’t help employees understand what they did well or what needs work. Without specifics, they don’t know what to repeat or change.

• The mistake: Giving feedback that lacks details or actionable takeaways.

• The fix: Use specific examples and structure feedback clearly. A helpful framework is the SBI model (Situation-Behavior-Impact):

Instead of: "Great work on that project!"

Try: "Your client report (Situation) was well-organized and insightful (Behavior). It helped leadership make a faster decision (Impact)."

3. Only Giving Negative Feedback

If the only time employees hear from you is when something goes wrong, it creates a culture of fear and frustration. Employees need to hear what they’re doing right, not just what needs to improve.

• The mistake: Focusing only on weaknesses while ignoring progress and successes.

• The fix: Balance feedback by recognizing what’s working. Research suggests a 5:1 ratio—for every one piece of critical feedback, offer five positive reinforcements (Dr. John Gottman).

Instead of: "This didn’t meet expectations."

Try: "I appreciate the effort you put into X. One way to make it even better is by doing Y."

4. Making Feedback Personal Instead of Objective

Employees don’t respond well to feedback that attacks their character or personality. Telling someone “You’re bad at communicating” feels like a judgment, not constructive input.

• The mistake: Critiquing who they are instead of focusing on what they do.

• The fix: Keep feedback behavior-based, not personal. Focus on actions, not personality traits.

Instead of: "You’re too aggressive in meetings."

Try: "I noticed you interrupted twice in today’s meeting. Let’s work on creating more space for others to contribute."

5. Giving One-Way Feedback Without Listening

Feedback isn’t a lecture—it should be a two-way conversation. When employees don’t feel heard, they may shut down, tune out, or become defensive.

• The mistake: Talking at employees instead of engaging with them.

• The fix: Turn feedback into a dialogue by asking for their perspective.

Instead of: "Here’s what you need to do differently."

Try: "How do you think that project went? What do you feel could be improved?"

What Great Leaders Do Differently

The best managers don’t avoid tough conversations. They coach in real time, provide clear and specific feedback, and recognize success often.

• They make feedback timely—addressing issues as they arise.

• They are clear and specific—so employees know exactly what to improve.

• They balance praise with constructive input—creating a positive learning environment.

• They focus on behaviors, not personalities—keeping feedback objective.

• They listen and engage employees—turning feedback into a dialogue, not a lecture.

Teams that get frequent, constructive feedback perform better, feel more valued, and stay engaged. If you want stronger results, start making feedback a daily habit—not a once-a-year event.

Feedback isn’t about criticism—it’s about growth. The best leaders don’t hold back. They help people get better.